A Collision of the Past and the Present

With a heavy, doubtful heart, a hollow voice from the PRESENT whispers "despite the darkness and chaos brought by ghost of the PAST, LIFE is supposedly  Colorful."

P.S. I’m Still Not Over You

            I keep staring at my screen wondering what to write about, contemplating of the possible reasons where the courage to write about you is coming from. There was a time when I thought I finally regained my sanity after losing enormous chunk of it because of you. There was a...

Not standard issue: unskinny Asian

Sometimes, exonerating yourself from those self-doubt, low self-esteem, body issues and shame which breed from the type of body you are born with is a must. This is for you to learn to selflessly love yourself and embrace every single flaw you have. Nobody is perfect. It’s just a matter of accepting those imperfections and learning to love every single one of them. This is an inspiring piece written by one of my best friends, and she nailed it. I am proud of you chinguh!!! 🙂

ladyexploits

160 lbs (+/-70 kgs), 5 feet 2 inches (158 cm). Those are my current numbers, full disclosure.

I was born with typical attributes associated to being Asian. Small eyes, a not-so-high nose, fair skin and might I say a decent coconut on my shoulders. The only thing missing is having a”chicken bone” frame. My shoulders are broad and I have wider hips than most. I was never a skinny girl, and boy, did I know it.

Then till now, the bullying persists. People still call me “fat.” Everyone from my family to strangers, has something to say about my size. When I was younger the names ranged from oink, to piggy, to broiler (a fat chicken), to balyena (whale); all meaning fat. Now that I am an adult, people try to sugar coat and call me healthy or curvy minus the positivity of those words. I suppose I could say…

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When He Stripped Away My Soul

That moment when I finally have the courage to hit the publish button after three years. For the past few months I rebooted myself since I left you, my life has turned topsy- turvy. In my world, you used to be someone whom I did not have the slightest right to show other people my...

The Lessons Behind “Me Before You”

*Spoiler alert* “It’s not enough for me. This world- my world- even with you in it. And believe me, Clark, my whole life has changed for the better since you came. But it’s not enough for me. It’s not the life I want.” Will Traynor- “Me Before You”              ...

Getting A Year Older

"By the time I am twenty-five, I am making good money and travelling around the world. By the time I am twenty-eight, I have met my better half and waking up in the middle of the night changing diapers." This was the naive me at fifteen. Yet here I am, sitting on my chair looking out...

An Open Letter to The Independent Woman

Dear Woman, Someone told me once that you become stupid and pathetic when you are in love, but I never believed such thing. I was a witness of how you were overwhelmed with happiness everyday and that was what mattered at that time. While you felt those butterflies in your stomach and you jumped with joy...

The Aftermath of “Friends With Benefits” Relationships

Love is not something you can control with a switchboard. It can happen anytime and in the worst situation. You might fall in love with the weird person who sits beside you everyday on the bus, the guy with a purple hair who gives you newspaper early in the morning while you’re trying to catch...

Those Moments of Jealousy

As I watched my friends being pluck one by one from the tree of singlehood, I have realized that life is unpredictable and entertaining at the same time. Not only does it have the ability to make you cry until your eyes sting, but it can also knock you off your feet and make you laugh...

An Open Letter to a Person Who is Now a Stranger

I recently saw a picture of us, of you and me staring at the camera with boredom. You were standing beside me. You were wearing a blue shirt with your dark glasses on top of your head. You had that look of indifference like you didn't give a shit about what was going on. You...